This time of year is always difficult for me. It is a time of year when I remember some of the great lose I have experienced in my life, and in recent years as I have done my own deep work, when I reflect on how it has affected my life. As I sit down to write this post I keep wondering whether I should share this with all of you. First -because I don’t really share this part of my life with anyone and second- is it relevant? Since I share with you my life weekly and this is an important part of who I am and who I have become I have decided to share. Because while my story of lose may be mine, we all experience loss in our lives some at an earlier age and some later. Loss is difficult, it does not matter how old you are or what the circumstance, there is always a part of our heart that is deeply hurt and it is important that we treat it with care. On Monday is Israel Memorial Day which is followed the next day by it’s Independence Day. For many years I could not celebrate Independence Day, the contrast from one day to another was just to hard for me. It is nothing like the American Memorial Day. It is a time of national morning, in the evening before all restaurants and entertainment are closed and both at night and in the morning a siren is blown and the whole country stands in silence and remembrance. It is a powerful experience; I have attached a video for those of you who may not be familiar. Every year I think about the power of community, what does it mean when a whole country stands still and remembers together. Why is it important and what do we get from it as individuals? Yes Israel is a small country and everyone including myself goes to the army or does national service. Yes many like me have had friends killed or were hurt themselves. But even in a small country not everyone is personally affected, so why do we all remember. There are many reasons, but the one I want to focus on today is community. Community is a very powerful thing. When we live within a community we celebrate together and we mourn together. We are never alone. This is something that I know was difficult for me to accept for many years. I had made a decision very early on in life that I needed to do it all alone. So when I was 16 and Oren who had been my counselor in 6th grade in the scouts was killed in a battle in Lebanon while I was in the US in camp, I felt like I needed to mourn alone. And later on when I was 20 and Yuval who was a very close friend and had been my boyfriend was killed standing at a bus stop after one bomb when off and he rushed to help others only to be killed by the second. I chose to mourn alone, I did not feel I could share and this came at a great cost. But every year I stood silent with everyone else I knew deep inside that I was not alone, and this was a great comfort. Only when I was able to embrace that I may have felt alone but I was not and ask for help was I able to begin the real process of healing. What community are you a part of? Who do you celebrate with and mourn with? Are you choosing to deal with your challenges alone? Are you asking for help when you need it? Next week I will share with you some of the challenges of dealing with loss and how you can help your teen girl, i when she experiences her first loss. Whether it is because a grandparent passed away, a relative, a friend, it is part of the circle of life. In the meantime know that I am here for you Sending you much love and support Tova P.S if you feel like you could use extra support with your teen girl do not hesitate to reach out and schedule a free strategy call
