This has been one week where I was grateful that I chose not to Install cable when I moved a year ago and stick to getting my news online.

Otherwise, like so many others I would have a hard time not re-watching the tragedies of this past week.

Growing up in Israel, terrorist attacks are sadly not foreign to me. I can tell you that having a lot of exposure and personal experience, do not make events like we have all experienced this past week any easier.

It pains me every time I find out someone I know has been touched by terror and a little more when I know it is their first time. This week I connected with many of those. From a friend who’s a good friend lost his girlfriend in the Paris attacks to connecting with a friend just last night who had to tell her kids their 18 year old camp counselor was killed in a terror attack in Israel.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because this week’s terror  attacks are a topic you could not avoid, no matter who you are. From Paris to Kenya to Syria to Israel and more.

Seeing such pain can be overwhelming and I know talking to your kids about this can be hard and challenging, so I would like to offer a few suggestions:

1. Don’t ignore the topic. Your daughter most likely has heard about what is going on in the world. By ignoring or hiding your distress you’re also hiding from your daughter your coping strategies. Finding strategies to deal with distress is a very important life skill. That being said, falling completely apart in front of your kids is not helpful. Deal with your own feelings with your spouse or a friend, share with your daughter the process you went through. (i.e found out, was upset, talked to friends and got support)

2. If your daughter is worried about safety close to home, share and explore what measure are being taken, but don’t lie that there is no danger.

3. Teach your daughter to be aware and learn about what is going on, and teach her when to step away. A good rule of thumb: If you’re watching a news story or social media coverage and you’re no longer learning something new or taking in information that will help you cope with the event, you need to turn it off

4. This is a good time to give back to the community and help those in need. Terror makes us feel helpless and often there is nothing we can do. Giving back to those in need has an impact on our well being, reaching out and helping others during their time of need can be very helpful in processing and coping.

5. And last and most important – Be present and Listen. The best way you can help is to just be there. Be present, be supportive, reflect back what she is feeling. Don’t try to solve the problem, or tell her it will get better. Instead, help her to explore the pain. This may be uncomfortable for you at first. It may bring up your own memories of past pain, or, if this a shared loss, you may have your own pain that you are dealing with. Make sure you keep it about your daughter and not make it about you.

Be there for your daughter and be attuned to where she is. Help her learn to experience the full range of her feelings, deal with the uncertainty of life and then learn to develop healthy coping skills.

I will leave with a touching video of a father and son in Paris.

Wishing you all a weekend of Love

Much love and support,

Tova