How has your week been? Has getting back to school for you and your daughter been easy? A challenge? Is she sharing what is going on with her, or holding back and keeping to herself?
Every girl deals with the new school year in a different way.
One of the girls I am working with was sharing her concerns about the new school year, and what she might be facing. We spoke about strategies for having a successful year and the ways she can reach out to her mother for support.
Here are six things that you can do as a parent to support your daughter during these first few weeks of transition:
- Show Interest
Let your daughter know that you care about what she does at home and at school. Create multiple opportunities every day, making clear that you are ready to listen and hear about what she is up to. Don’t always expect a response, but if you create enough opportunities, chances are she will walk through the door. Make sure not to create a situation where your interest may be confused with pressure.
- Make the Time for Talking and Listening
Teens’ primary complaint is that their parents don’t really listen to them. It’s not enough just to show interest. Be sure that you are making time in your day when you are not distracted by the 101 other things on your list, and that you have time to be fully present to listen and talk.
- Respect Her Opinion
Don’t expect your teen to always agree with you, or to have opinions and values that match yours. Part of the process she needs to go through is challenging your beliefs. This is so she can figure out what she believes, and try on a variety of identities in a safe, supportive environment. You can ask clarifying questions, to help your daughter think through her views. Just make sure to keep the lines of communication open.
- Spend Time Together
Your daughter is growing up and changing, and that means your relationship is changing as well. Make sure to set aside time to just hang out and do fun things together. Teens can be a lot of fun, and these bonding moments will go a long way towards strengthening your relationship.
- Give Her Space
We all need time to ourselves. Like you, your teen needs down time to decompress, process and just have some private time. Notice your daughter’s patterns. She may not want to talk when you pick her up from school, or before she finishes her homework. Each teen is unique. Be attuned to your daughter. Remember, your teen deserves her privacy, just like you do. But make sure she knows you are always there when she is ready.
- Encourage Her
Giving encouragement and taking an interest in your teenager is as important as praising her. Praise her for her efforts and let her know when she does something that pleases you. Don’t be afraid to tell her that you love her, even if you get no response.
Hope these tips help you start the year off well.
Have questions? Post in the comments below and I am happy to help.
Much Love and Support,
Tova
