I was eating dinner at a friend’s house last Friday night, and as often happens, I got to meet some new people.  One of the men at the table was sharing with my host something about the results of his God Week. My ears perked up, and I turned to my new friend and said, “What is ‘God Week’”?  At first he was a little hesitant to explain, saying “I am not a very religious person, it’s not what you think……..”   But he’d engaged my interest, so I gently asked again  what “God Week” was.  He finally relented and said, “I have noticed lately that I have been going through life without intentionally thinking about what it is that I want. I feel I don’t have a clear compass to make decisions and choices. So while I am not a very religious man, I decided I would go through a full week constantly asking myself ‘what would God do?’   Whenever I face a dilemma, on how to spend my time, or how to respond to people I stop and ask myself ‘what would God do?’”. I asked how it was going, and he laughed and said “I think I need another week, this is taking a while to master”.

I deeply appreciated his intentionality and the wisdom he has in seeing that he needs support to figure out the appropriate choices, if he wants to live a good life (by his own standards).  When I am working with girls, one of the things we often talk about is the regular dilemma of a teen girl, “How do I respond and react to the world around me.”  We work on approaches that will assist the girls in developing  criteria to help them make wise and smart decisions, even in times of stress.

One of the techniques I love using was developed in its current form by Haley Kilpatrick and used by Girls Talk for a campaign they started to help girls think before they speak, text and type. It is simply referred to as T.H.I.N.K.

As you may have seen with your own daughter, during the teen years, our girls especially  tend to act before they have the chance to think through the consequences of their action.  This simple acronym is meant to help them develop the skill of both thinking before acting, as well as providing a moral compass for their chosen action.

So what does T.H.I.N.K stand for?

Every girl should ask herself, if what she is about to do, say etc. is:

True

Helpful

Important

Necessary

Kind

By instilling this simple “think before action” process, we are teaching our girls not only to take a moment and think before they act, but also providing them with a simple moral compass to follow.

Through slowly internalizing and integrating this process into their lives, girls report back that they are kinder to others, make less impulsive decisions, and generally don’t get into as many difficult situations as before.

This week, have a conversation with your daughter on the how she makes decisions in difficult situations, share T.H.I.N.K with her and see if it makes a difference.

While you are at it, ask yourself  how often you implement these principles in your communication with those you love, and even those you love less.

To a week full of successful communication and love

Much Love and Support

Tova