Have you ever wished you could just be someone else for a day? That you could make all your worries, disappointments, pressure and “to do” list simply disappears?
Do you think about what would have happened if you had made other choices in life, where would you be today?
I know I do sometimes.
Our teen girls are at a point in life when they are trying to figure out, on a daily basis, who they are. They think about what choices they are going to make and what impact these choices are going to have on their social life, love life (or, if they will have one), academic future and identity. This is a lot of pressure to handle.
This coming weekend is Halloween here in the US. Growing up in Israel, Halloween was a non-event – no one even knew about it. But we had our own holiday later in the year, Purim, where we got to dress up. I was never a fan of dressing up (probably something I should look into), but I do remember the push to try on a different look.
I won’t lie. When I see all the advertisements for girls’ and women’s costumes, I cringe inside. They are all overly sexualized and lack creativity. While I wish the selection was very different, I also know we need to give space for our girls to experiment with dressing more provocatively. Why? Because checking out their sexuality and playing with how they dress is one of the things that they need to go through as a teen. I remember the endless conversations with my mother around whether my choice of clothes was modest or not. Do you?
As you approach this weekend and observe your daughter’s choice of costume, I want you to remember a few things:
1. This is an opportunity for your daughter to try on her sexual persona, without being judged or shamed by her peers.
2. This does not mean that there should not be boundaries for what is appropriate.
3. Notice what choices your daughter is making, and use them as an opening for a meaningful conversation – not a lecture.
Wishing you a weekend where you too can to be someone who you always wanted to be for a day.
Much Love and Support,
Tova
